How to Make an Apology in Time for Dan Savage’s Hump Fest

Oct 28

I’m a die hard Dan Savage fan. When I heard that Hump Fest (Savage’s curated amateur porn film festival) was coming to Colorado, I bought tickets that day. When I told my partner I had purchased tickets for us, he broke the news that he was out of town that weekend.   I was disappointed, […]

Writing and Relationships: Seven Reminders to Live By

Jul 09

A professor once told me that mastery requires a minimum of ten years of consistent and committed focus on a craft or a subject. We don’t normally think of a relationship in terms of “mastering” another person, but the same rules apply to learning another person and learning a craft such as writing. Both demand […]

What Vulnerability in Relationship Looks Like

Feb 13

Thanks to Brene Brown’s TED Talk, many of us understand vulnerability as one of the necessary keys to unlock true connection in relationship.   As I write, I realize that vulnerability is the place where I continue to get stuck in relationship, often succumbing to my instinctual desires to shut down, run away, or, if […]

The Biggest Relationship Saboteur: Ourself

Jan 30

Many of us (myself included in the form of talking to couples around the globe) are searching for the answer to making a relationship work. We want that golden nugget of advice that lives outside of ourselves, the secret to happily ever after. What if the secret lies within us, behind our eyes and in […]

Happiness: Wanting What You Have; Not Desiring More

Jan 22

 I don’t think of myself as a material person. My favorite clothing items and most of my bike and ski gear are nearly 10 years old. I rarely buy retail. With every purchase I remind myself of my desire for a minimalist approach to “stuff.” Yet when it comes to Christmas and birthdays I LOVE […]

What it Takes: Three Tools To Create A Strong Intimate Partnership

Jan 14

A friend of mine and her husband inscribed the inside of their wedding rings with the word “Team,” followed by their shared last name. Years ago, in my own short-lived marriage, teamwork was not our guiding principle and our lives were largely lived as two individuals, down to our separate last names. Having the same […]