Learning how to apologize is a critical skill that many of us never properly learn. Sure, we might be able to say, “I’m sorry,” but the aspect of the apology that matters most is telling the other person that you truly understand their feelings and the impact that your words or actions had on them. […]
Valentine’s Day…love or hate the holiday, it’s a time to ponder love. Many millions of people celebrate Valentine’s Day across the globe, exchanging material tokens of affection. Imagine if we went beyond the chocolate, beyond the cards, and truly celebrated the verb of love. What if each of us looked deeply at the ways […]
None of us are getting out of this life alive. We all have to face loss, and holidays can either be a painful time of remembering those we lost, or a time of gratitude for the time we were given, or a combination of both. Sadly, over the last few months, we have lost […]
I’m a die hard Dan Savage fan. When I heard that Hump Fest (Savage’s curated amateur porn film festival) was coming to Colorado, I bought tickets that day. When I told my partner I had purchased tickets for us, he broke the news that he was out of town that weekend. I was disappointed, […]
Last night the sky put on a show for much of the world. Newsfeeds were filled today with accounts and photos of the rare supermoon total lunar eclipse. I am curious how many couples used this astrological event to connect with one another and to the intention of their relationship. Many Glue couples talk […]
A professor once told me that mastery requires a minimum of ten years of consistent and committed focus on a craft or a subject. We don’t normally think of a relationship in terms of “mastering” another person, but the same rules apply to learning another person and learning a craft such as writing. Both demand […]
Recently, I realized that I cannot remember my parents apologizing to each other. I know they did hurtful things to one another, as all married couples do. I know they had arguments, but sadly I don’t have a mental picture of them looking into each other’s eyes and saying the words, “I know what I […]
I was never a big fan of couples’ therapy. My disillusionment is explained by my pre-marital therapy leading to my marriage, which ended in divorce six months later. It always seemed strange to me that my ex and I sat side by side, shoulder to shoulder, both airing our grievances to the therapist, who in […]
Thanks to Brene Brown’s TED Talk, many of us understand vulnerability as one of the necessary keys to unlock true connection in relationship. As I write, I realize that vulnerability is the place where I continue to get stuck in relationship, often succumbing to my instinctual desires to shut down, run away, or, if […]
Many of us (myself included in the form of talking to couples around the globe) are searching for the answer to making a relationship work. We want that golden nugget of advice that lives outside of ourselves, the secret to happily ever after. What if the secret lies within us, behind our eyes and in […]